Embrace the beauty in living life unfiltered.

Thank you for reading my stories, laughing along, and being brave enough to share yours! 

the plan

In my early 20's I thought I'd be married to my handsome, funny, and kind husband by 28ish, spend two years of wedded bliss together before having four adorable children, spaced out by at least two years. We'd be living in our cute little rehabbed house and loving every minute of the journey.

Present reality: I'm 32 years young, single, never married, no kids, and my life is outrageously fun and beautifully full. Though not what I had mapped out I am blissfully content to be where I am NOW.

Since those early 20 something dreams I have broken one heart and had mine torn open by someone I thought was "the one". The idea of children is becoming increasingly scary. Though they be cute those babies seem fucking exhausting. How am I supposed to take leisurely lunches with them nagging me all the time? I suppose the next thing you're going to say is that I won't be able to just take whatever yoga class I want throughout the day because so-and-so needs to be picked up from nursery school at noon. N-E-E-D-Y! And the cute little rehabbed home is at present an apartment I rent way beyond my means.

The dream life list has certainly seen some adjustments over the years. Some must-haves have been added and some items removed. My hubby list, well, I think I'll save that for another post. Though the idea of being a Mom has always been something I've felt in my bones I do not think four children are in the cards. Listen, I'm already tired and I still wanna hit up yoga on the reg and at this age when I do get married I'd have to pop those suckers out one after another...mmm thanks but no.

The comparison of who I thought I'd be to now is not for pity party. Absolutely not. I am in love with my life. Does it confuse the hell out of me? Often. Does fear creep around from time to time? Yep. For some it may work that the easiest way to get from point A to point B is a straight line. For me, there have been and will be twists and turns, falls and backtracking, but there always has been and always will be leaps forward toward the dreams I'm creating and that type of road makes for one hell of a rich life.

I want it all. I want the mistakes for they bring the lesson. I want travel and experiences that change me. I feel lucky to have felt heartache so bad because you can't feel the light quite so well unless you've felt some dark. I want wild times. I want quiet nights. I want messy and confusing because those moments spur growth. I want my 90 year old self to look back and say "Whew, what a ride!" She'll probably also go on..."What were you doing in that chapter? That was a doozy...took you a long time to get your shit together, huh?" Alright, old lady, go take a nap.

Rest easy baby boys and girls.

"Whether or not it is clear to you no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should"
-Desiderata

*Since it has already been illustrated that plans change should I somehow end up with four children, please check in on us every once in a while. Is there an odor? I'm sure I'll come up with a genius plan to only wash half of them per week so I can still fit in a mani somewhere. Or, if no odor and I've managed to successfully bathe all of my children like a SUPERMOM, check my nails, offer to babysit, and send me to the salon. Please? Thank you in advance.

the list

the blog